Transcript of audio message

The month of June is known for a lot of things like the start of summer, upcoming vacations, more BBQ’s and of course, Father’s day. At church, we can usually anticipate some heartfelt stories from our Sunday school children about their dads, and hopefully a picture slideshow of dads doing crazy antics. But ever since my dad passed away, Father’s day has been challenging, and I imagine that I’m not the only one who would rather not see a reminder around every corner about father’s day cards and gifts that say “#1 Dad!” or “Best Dad Ever!” To be completely honest, it’s been really convenient for me the last couple years during COVID to just not log into church on Father’s Day, and Mother’s Day for that matter, so that I could avoid any unnecessary reminders. But as soon as I start to throw a little pity party for myself, I remember that so many others are hurting in different ways on Father’s Day.

I have friends who grew up with an absent father and wish that they could share pictures of their dad cheering for them at a sports game or celebrating graduation, but the reality is that their dad was never even around at home, let alone any school or church events. Then, there are those on the opposite end of the spectrum- those who’ve experienced verbal and physical abuse from their fathers to the point that they wished their father would just leave. Some women have told me that their children begged for them to get divorced, and it always broke my heart because I know that’s not what anyone expects when they first get married. When I worked as a hospital chaplain in the pediatric oncology and labor and delivery units, I lost count of the number of dads who lost their child sooner than expected, whether from cancer or an unexplainable congenital abnormality. So I’m not trying to be all grim and somber about a day that’s usually meant for celebration, but I just encourage all of us to be mindful of those who don’t show up to church on Father’s day, because it might just be too painful to be surrounded with so many reminders of loss.

And it’s ok if you don’t know what to say to someone who may be hurting, whether for Father’s Day, or for any other reason. When in doubt, you can always say, I imagine that today might be hard for you and I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you. The other person may not have anything to say in response because their grief may still be fresh, even if many years have passed, or maybe your kind words just caught them off guard. But I assure you that even if it feels a little awkward or uncomfortable for you to say something, it makes all the difference in the world. So for those of you who aren’t able to have the usual Father’s Day celebration this year, for whatever reason- I imagine that the month of June might be hard for you, and I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you. God bless you.